photo-1434973539530-5538b4681aac

I bet you probably didn’t think you’d see a topic like this on the blog. If you’ve followed me from the beginning you’ve read my plethora of bad dates, seen me attend numerous events, travel and basically struggle to be an adult. So hey, I don’t blame you if you’re a little stunned to see me talking about conceiving. Believe me, this was a stage even I wasn’t sure I’d ever reach.

I actually even went through a period two years ago where I didn’t even think I would have kids because I was having so much fun working on myself and my relationship with my husband. It was only in the last six months or so where I really started to evaluate my life. I got into a pretty good grove, successful at my day job, successful in blogging, financial stability, had travelled and experienced pretty much all I felt I needed to be fulfilled and was left wondering, what’s next? I mean, when you have enough time watch an entire season of Grey’s Anatomy in two days you start questioning if there’s a higher purpose for your life, am I right?

Once we found out in the summer time that we’d be moving, we decided we’d wait until we were settled to start trying to conceive. At the end of the summer, I visited a local Naturopath in Ottawa who specialized in fertility. I had been on the pill since age 12 (and was now 29) and honestly had been really nervous about what effects that would have on my ability to get pregnant. She was fantastic. I was given a list of foods to eat and things to do in the next three months to prepare my body, including taking some supplements, cutting out certain foods and starting prenatal vitamins.

pills-1354782_960_720

I decided to come off the pill at the end of November after a vacation to the Dominican Republic when I would be at home and able to deal with whatever my new menstrual cycle brought. I spent a lot of time worrying about my body post-birth control pill. I stressed about acne and heavy periods, both of which I had before the pill and both of which cleared up once I went on the pill. I also worried a lot about if my period would even come back and if it I would have a regular cycle.

Uneventfully, my period came back exactly on the date when it was supposed to and lasted about as long as a period is supposed to last and then it came back again exactly when it was supposed to come back and lasted for the same number of days. So basically, everything went back to normal exactly how it was supposed to.

If I could characterize my “TTC” journey with one word, it would be worry. I also knew I worried a little to much, but the degree to which I feel the need to control things was something I didn’t realize. It was like I had gone through all these years with conceiving being the last thing on my mind, in fact it was something I spent years trying to prevent, and then when the switch clicked where I decided a baby was something my husband and I wanted and were ready for, I went, for lack of a better word, crazy. I became obsessed. I read message boards, watched YouTube videos, started learning TTC terms, drinking weird concoctions. I worried about infertility. I worried about how long it would take and if I would miscarry. Basically, I wanted it to happen on my terms and my timing.

This was one of the first times in my life that something I wanted was not attainable at a timeline I determined and I frankly I had a hard time with that. It was a good lesson for me to learn and I think taught me something about my personality and sense of entitlement. At the end of the day, I ended up conceiving after one cycle of actually trying. ONE CYCLE.

I spent months worrying about outcomes, timing and other random worries when it happened almost right away. It happened so fast that I wasn’t expecting it. I had assumed a minimum of six months before anything happened, so to see a positive on a pregnancy test so fast blew my mind. I didn’t believe it and actually took five tests before I believed it.

I feel very lucky that everything happened so quickly. I know so many women in my life that have struggled or are struggling with trying to conceive a child so the fact that it basically happened instantly for me is definitely something I don’t take for granted. I hope you will all follow along as my blog will start to incorporate this new journey!

tntabone@gmail.com'
Written by Tracey