The Roommate Diaries

This week’s Roommate Diaires is an anoymous submission about a reader’s experience living with Miranda and her mould.

When I moved in with Miranda, I figured she would be a good roommate. She had told me horror stories about messy roommates she had in the past so I assumed Miranda would be a tidy roommate. Little did I know that Miranda would be MY roommate horror story.

Miranda and I were roommates for two long years and to say she was a slob is an understatement. It all began when I returned home one day to a musty and rotting smell in the apartment. I assumed I had forgotten to take out the garbage, but later realized it had been taken out.

One day the smell was so bad that I had to find out where it was coming from. I wasn’t the type of guy that would nose around people’s things, but I feared something or someone had died in Miranda’s room. Since her room was at the entrance of our apartment, I assumed the smell had to be coming from in there.

When I opened the door to her room, I was flooded with an intense smell of rotting food. There were pizza boxes strewn everywhere (Just like in Katie’s story). There was a bowl of mouldy grapes, empty beer bottles, soup, empty wine bottles and mouldy pizza. On one plate there appeared to be what was once Sheppard’s pie, but was now multi-coloured and looked like a Jackson Pollock painting.

After discovering the source of the smell, I wanted to dig deeper. I couldn’t understand how Miranda could live like this and I wanted to see how much attention Miranda would pay if the smell in her room got any worse.

I found a block of cheese in the fridge that wasn’t completely rotten, but it was starting to moud a little bit at the edges. I cut the brick of cheese in half and ventured into Miranda’s room to find somewhere to store it. I didn’t want to put the cheese under her bed or in her closet because I  thought she would see it right away. When I moved her bedside table back, there was already  a mouldy butter knife behind there so I figured this was the perfect resting place for the cheese.

I wondered just how long it would take for Miranda to  notice the smell. Plus, Miranda was one to bring home guys every now and again and I was wondering if they would notice this foul odour as well.

the mouldy cheese

Three weeks. Yes, three whole weeks is how long it took Miranda to clean behind her bedside table. I know this because every day I would go in to see the progression of the cheese. The last day before she found the cheese it was black.

This wasn’t Miranda’s only brush with overly mouldy food. After a two week trip to the United States I came home to find a bowl of spinach on the counter that must have been there for a while because it wasn’t green anymore. It was just white fuzz that was cocooning into some foreign organism.

Eventually I moved out of the apartment and moved in with my girlfriend, but not before I got my Miranda back for making me live with that awful smell for two years. I took out every single light bulb in the apartment except for the one in the bathroom, leaving Miranda in the dark.

Do you have an epic story just waiting to be shared with the internet? Contact me at to get your story featured on The Roommate Diaries and read the rest of the series: “Diana“, “Katie” & “The Disappearing Act'
Written by Tracey