For the last few months I have been seeing an amazing guy. He has turned into one of the best relationships I have ever been in and we’ve had an amazing time together. Scott and I met at an after work thing one night in the spring and there was an instant spark. He was cute, funny, wore glasses and most importantly, let me lead the conversation. Since the spark was so instantaneous, we decided to have dinner the following week.
We decided to meet up after work at a great Central American tapas place in Toronto called Valdez and bonded over tequila based cocktails and delicious latino flavours. He was so sweet and I loved talking to him, so we continued the date with a walk up to a frozen yogurt place I liked. Unbeknownst to Scott, this was his first “test” and he passed with flying colours. Maybe it’s ridiculous of me to use this test, but I always take a guy for froyo. If he freaks out that my concoction is too expensive, then he’s a no go. You must respect me and my ridiculous addiction to build your own frozen yogurt places. Scott on the other hand decided that this concept was amazing, and we competed to make the best mix-up of flavours we could.
Skip ahead to today, and we have been seeing each other at least once a week since we met. We’ve gone on fun dates, been to great places to eat, and even gone on a mini road trip together. While we’ve kept it very casual, it’s been a wonderful time and my summer has been even better because he has been a part of it. Scott and I have never discussed commitment or long term together because right off the bat we both decided it would stay very light and fun. I never thought this would be something that I’d enjoy but I’ve actually had a great time with it. It’s nice to be able to see someone without all the drama of having “the talk” or forcing a commitment both parties don’t necessarily want from each other. I know this sound like a no strings attached FWB, but it’s been more than that. We’ve spent great amounts of time together and gotten to know each other without the benefits even being a factor, and I’ve loved that. If anything, the benefit I’ve gained has been a funny, cute, smart companion to talk to, laugh with, and try delicious new restaurants alongside.
So, some of you may be wondering what happens in October and why I’ve titled this post that way. In October, Scott and I will no longer be together, as he will be moving away from Toronto indefinitely. I’ve always known he lived half the year in Los Angeles for work, but never actually knew when his departure would be. The funny thing is, though, that despite not being serious, I have gotten used to having him around. I’ve gotten used to having someone to have dinner with, or watch a movie with, or even just cuddle with after a long day. When he leaves, I will be flying totally solo again and I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t feel the loss. He’s not even gone yet and I already feel it.
Knowing our relationship has an expiration date has not been easy. I sobbed in his arms the night he told me his ticket was booked, and I have wanted to cry every time I’ve seen him since then. Until we set our final date night, I treat every time I see him as if it is the last time I will see him. Part of me doesn’t want to plan one last date, because I will look at it approaching with dread and sadness. Another part of me just wants to pull away now and get it over with, like ripping off a bandaid. No matter what, I always seem to see myself in a crying puddle of tears at the end of it, but I know I will be crying on his shoulder.
Many thoughts have crossed my mind about the future and if I will ever see him again. There’s always the possibility that we will both be available when he’s in town, and will reconnect. I don’t fear we will lose our spark because to me, it’s been very real, but will we both be willing and able to rekindle it? I could be impulsive and go visit him in LA (and, at the same time, become best friends with Kim K and meet Leonardo DiCaprio, obviously), but that would involve time and planning. So as it stands now, I will soon be giving up the most random but best relationship I have ever been in. Scott has listened to me complain, helped me work through tough times, and been a great partner in crime all summer long. We have enjoyed our time together, and I do not regret any of it despite the not so happy ending. As I mark up my calendar for this month, I realise that I only have a handful of weeks left to spend with him, and I plan to make them all count.
Have you ever been in a casual relationship? Have you dated someone you knew wasn’t going to be around forever? Leave a comment and let us know!