I've been wanting to write more on the topic of breakups and have had this post in mind for a while. I finally decided now was the time to tackle this one. I'm not saying all breakups follow this formula, and would love for those of you who have gone through breakups to weigh in below in the comments, but this is just how I have experienced breakups in my life.
Denial can come in many forms. It could be you willingly ignoring the fact that your relationship is going South. It could be you making excuses for your significant other when you know their actions or lifestyle choices are wrong. It could even be you holding on to those small things you still have in common or still love about that other person when you know there is so much that is driving you apart. For me, it was telling myself it was easier to "stick with what I have than to have to start over." I chose convenience over happiness for a long time and started to believe that convenience and happiness were actually the same thing. I was in major denial.
After the breakup, I was in denial about being fine. I kept telling myself and others that I was fine when I knew that I wasn't. I remember going on this date and having it go horribly. The part I omitted from this post is how I came home and bawled my eyes out to my roommate about how going to the movies used to be so fun with my ex and now it was just a horrible experience. I tried my best to convince my self I was alright, but it took a lot longer to actually get to that point.
We also remained Facebook friends. This was the biggest mistake I made and I would highly recommend removing the ex from Facebook immediately. For me, the most bargaining came between me and the universe. I would bargain, telling myself: "I'm just going to look on his Facebook for five minutes, just to make sure nothing bad has happened. What if there was a death in the family? I need to know." What I was actually doing: Creeping his Facebook, looking to see if there were any new pictures, if he added any new friends and painstakingly analyzing any comment from a female to see if it was a potential love match. This was not healthy behaviour at all and I wasn't able to truly move on until we stopped being "friends" on Facebook.
If you're going through a break up and are in any of these stages, it's normal. You may think it will never get better, but it does. Sometimes you think the one you lost was the best you could have had and that you will never find the right one for you. Let me tell you that life is a funny thing. Out of the blue it will bring you your soul mate, just when you've stopped looking. For me, I met Mark when I had stopped putting so much pressure on myself to find a guy and instead just let things happen. Now, it's exciting for me to think that in just nine days, I will be married to the love of my life.
I would love to continue this discussion in the comments. Please feel free to share your opinions, experiences and advice. If you've tackled a dating post on your blog, you can also link up below.